Edit 12/12/2017: Wow the amount of comments surprises me. Thank you so much for the support. As much as people care about me, I care about those around me. There is still warmth in this community. I am slowly going through the comments in chronological order. I read quite interesting comments. I may a bit slow with writing, because try to be thoughtful in my replies. This journal consists thought that bottled up for a long time, but at the moment I feel better and stable enough to talk about it.
It has been a while I posted something on dA. Actually I have been slowly getting inactive on all my social media accounts. I kept these feelings bottled up for years, but it has been getting worse. The bomb dropped around June, since then I slowly tried to crawl up. Right now I just want to write down everything I held back, I thought it is an unprofessiona